Friday, September 08, 2006
Thank God!!
Dear bro and sis! I have a testimony to share!!!=)
Think I was quite affected two days ago about my project because i heard a terrible news from my prof who told me that for my project, a proper lit review was not done beforehand...and they found out that actually the protein that i'm wrking on may not be able to crystallise because it consists many random loops, so he wanted me to recut and re-clone a fragment of protein.this will mean my 3mths of wrk will be gone down the drain..oh man!!In addition, i cannot imagine the amount of time that has to be taken to re-clone..(the prev gal took 6mths then me left with 7mths for the project) so I was quite affected (think i either shared to some of ur, or some of ur saw me at hq on tue..)mixture of discouragement, sadness, anger...cos thinking that i've really tried my best to do well for it le.. tt nite, after talking to sheppie (thank God for her), i decided to cont looking onto God,for the hope He has for me and to believe that He is in control..it was hard..
yup, then to cont.. besides asking me to redo,my prof also asked me to approach another prof, a collaborator of my project to let him knoe of this and see what he has to say.. so this morning,I approached him,it turns out that he has a different opinion from my prof.. hmm, at that time, half of my heart was 'thank God, it seems quite a good news' but another half of my heart was questioning as well, 'will i end up disappointed again if the prof disagrees? quite afraid of that..a roller coaster emotional ride is too much for me..(yup, though I wanted to trust in Him and believe that He is in control..yup.. tt's how weak i am...)After talking to him, I sent out an email to the prof and was praying that he will agree with wat the collaborator say.. and this was what he replied in the email..
After considering your concerns on the time to reconstruct a new clone and feedback from A/P Swami, I agree that you will continue the work with fragment 1-211. You can discuss the issue in Discussion section of your thesis. If the fragment 1-211 does not crystallize, then you can use other fragments for crystallization, as suggested by A/P Swami.
Thank God!! It's really a load off my heart..this reinforces the lesson of spirituality and faith which Claramae shared in sub-d.. think during tuesday nite, i am really quite tempted to go into hiding, to hide from ppl and to hide from God but thank God i did not.. what helps me make that decision to continue having faith in Him (besides talking to sheppie) is tt i was thinking if i cannot trust my prof, cannot trust the phd student in my lab, cannot even trust myself.. who can i trust? the most immediate ans that pop into my mind is God.. though i am angry with Him as well, but i realise that He really is the only one whom i can trust in ..
yup..looking back,God had blessed me with the presence of His ppl as well, who made me feel supported and loved..the care, encouragement by bro and sis ard..like on wed, mich prayed for me,after follow up on my way home, met benaiah who prayed for me, before that eugene prayed for me, then sijia smsed me to how am i..though i din tell her wat happened. God is really surrounding me with His love through His people!
Through this,also realised that there is really room for me to grow in joy and confidence in God, especially when faced with trouble.
'...have faith in the Lord, your God and you will be upheld...' 2Chronicles 20:20b
Phew..What a close shave..Thank God!
Hope to encourage all of you with this testimony.. even when tough times come, let us really choose to focus back on God for He will always be in control, to learn from and emerge stronger after each hurdle.. =)
